Is it winter blues or burn out?

Do you have the winter blues or are you Burnt Out? Burnout has become such a common phrase that you'll often to hear people casually say, "Oh, I'm fried!" or some other language to point out how hard they are burning the candle at both ends. When friends and family are confiding in you about a bad day or week, this isn't a big deal. Working hard feels good! But for the folks in our lives who are truly experiencing Burn Out, it is much more than an event that's thrown them under the bus. Stress is a sign that your work and your habits are significantly interfering with your health and happiness. The good news is that Burn Out doesn't have to bite you in the *ss if you take inventory of your habits and your life you can reverse the stress and even use it to catapolt you towards more willpower and motivation. How close are you right now to being burnt out? SIGNS OF BURNOUT Burnout is typically defined as a high state of stress and chronic fatique without perspective, emotional regulation and self care that leads to: • physical and emotional exhaustion, frustration and lack of motivation • feelings of detachment and loneliness • a sense of not being enough, and an inability to see the accomplishments and connections that are already present in your life Together, these states could lead to an inability to regulate your life and your relationships, causing depression and unhappiness. Although many of these signs of Burn Out look like typical everyday stress, they are accompanied by an inability to switch tasks and an inability to focus on the "pause" moments in your day. The difference between stress and burnout is a matter of self care, so the best way to prevent burnout is to identify the behaviors and attitudes that keep you from finding ways to relax and take a break from stress, as well as see the challenges in your life as positive. Signs associated with Exhaustion: Chronic Fatigue Insomnia Difficulty Concentrating Physical Symptoms such as aching muscles and twitching eye lids A Negative Attitude Lack of Willpower Anxiety and Depression that can look like Anger or Sadness, Restlessness or Fear Feelings of loneliness

Loneliness is one of the symptoms of being burned out that can be hard to see until someone else points it out to you. Are you feeling rejected and not good enough? "A key part of feeling lonely is feeling rejected, and that, it turns out, is the most damaging part." According to Judith Shulevitz who wrote about the Lethality of Loneliness for The New Republic. Loneliness and feeling isolated from a community, your partner or even from yourself can wreak havoc in your life. According to the Huffington Post, if you are binge watching Netflix in record time something is up. It's also been pointed out that losing weight, avoiding interactions with close friends or feeling isolated even when you are surrounded by people is a sign of loneliness. It's worth pointing out that many people like spending alone and are on a spectrum ofintroversion, which is great! In terms of Burn Out, figuring out if there is a level of isolation that is slowly increasing even though there is opportunity for vulnerability in intimacy in your life may be the thing, and not necessarily how much time you are spending alone. Do you regularly have an opportunity to connect with beauty and art, music and people- but find that you still feel separate, even sad when the opportunity arises? Have you tried taking small steps to share your true experience with a close friend but just left the conversation feeling even more confused and discouraged? You're probably lonely. ARE YOU BURNED OUT? By now, you should have an idea if you've reached burn out or not. Time to leap into action and start a self care regimen to tackle this monster. What we mean by that is "Take a break." Here's the plan: Commit to treating yourself to down time. If you are stressed, you may still experience stress, but the point of down time is to save the stress for later and be present with something else. Sunlight, trees, snow, comfort food with greens on the side. Put the internet away and make it a point to having down time everyday. You may need to start with bigger chunks at the beginning of this journey to take the edge off. Eliminate sources of stress that aren't doing you any favors. If there is a person in your life that you're having some difficulty with, take a hiatus. Feel free to opt-out of coaching soccer this spring. Make dinners for the week all in one day so that there are less decisions made last minute later. Clean out your closet of all those things you are not wearing so that your time spent getting ready in the morning is minimal. Make monthly goals as opposed to weekly or daily goals. According to the book Willpower, folks did better when thinking big picture and not beating themselves up for skipping a daily habit. Take the pressure off to get to spin class everyday. Just putting your spin clothes on is kinda great. If you get out the door, you can feel good about that- etc. Change your perspective. Stress can change your brain and your sense of accomplishment if you check off tasks and goals as Done, Done and DONE. Look at your life through the lens of a close friend who loves you unconditionally. Where are you now that you wouldn't have been if it wasn't for the hard times? Give yourself a break for not being able to do it all, but being able to get through the morning, or a hard meeting or a run. It may be hard to love yourself for where you are, and know that you are doing the best you can. But you are, aren't you? Add some bodywork to your life. Get a massage! Do some self applied bodywork with a tennis ball, foam roller or yoga videos on you-tube. A sunlit corner of the bedroom is all you need to stretch out and be in your body for 10-15 minutes everyday. Breathe and feel your breath moving in and our of your body. Doesn't that feel better? Meditate, or try Breathing exercises. Google suggests when you are first starting breathing exercises you may find it easiest to practice lying flat on your back, knees bent, feet flat on the floor and eight inches apart. Place one hand on your chest and one hand on your abdomen. Then inhale slowly through your nose for 3 seconds. Don't forget to exhale.

Get as much sleep and water and good food as you can. If after two weeks, you don't feel like you've recovered much of your energy and vitality, your burn out is very likely severe and you could consider making significant changes in your habits and life to give yourself a chance to recover. Let go of a few commitments to make this change and tell folks that you need to recover. Take a week or two off to be outside everyday. Turn off your phone and spend time with friends, even if you can't connect yet. Reach out to a doctor, a therapist, body workers and family to just say "I'm having a hard time." Saying things out loud can be a huge relief, and having a support network can truly change how alone you are feeling. Things may be hard, but they will get better. Be good to yourself.

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